“I stopped waiting for the world to give me what I wanted; I started giving it to myself.” – Byron Katie
“Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon, nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.” – Byron Katie
I always listen to one of three podcasts on my training runs. Cathy Heller’s Don’t Keep Your Day Job, Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic and Joyce Meyer’s Enjoying Everyday Life. Books, music, podcasts pull us out of our own thoughts to explore, question and ponder.
The interview this week on Don’t Keep Your Day Job with Byron Katie, The Work was filled with wonderful insights including four questions to ask yourself to change the narrative you tell yourself and the power to change it to serve you better:
- “Is it true?”
- “Can I absolutely know this is true?”
- “How do I react when I believe this thought?”
- “Who would I be without this thought?” Then turn it around and say “What is the opposite?”
A few other takeaways:
- You are your own way out. It begins and ends with you.
- Don’t feel guilty for believing what you believe.
- Freedom and happiness are your birthright.
We choose our own thoughts so we have the power to change our world. Explore abundance, create your days, see the brilliance in the petal of a flower.
Do the work and carve the life you deserve.
“Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life.” – Marcus Aurelius
“Meditation is an attempt to stop rowing and let the water of life go clear, so you can see through to the bottom of things. Let’s try this now. Put down your oars and drift. Center yourself and breathe slowly. Whatever the day holds can wait. The first oar to leave alone is your mind. Inhale and exhale deeply. The second oar to ungrip is the oar of fear and worry. Inhale and exhale slowly. Simply breathe and let the water of your life settle and calm. Let your breathing quiet the ripples. Let the water of all life settle and calm. Look through the calm, not searching for anything, just seeing what’s there.” — The Book of Soul: 52 Paths to Living What Matters, Mark Nepo
Stop rowing. Let the water settle so you can observe, listen and be present. Our thoughts, opinions, judgments either contract or expand us. When we drift and observe, we choose expansion and mystery.
Dare to be quiet long enough to awaken your senses to see to the bottom of things. Put the paddles down each day to cultivate clarity and joy. We cast light by allowing light in.
“Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.” – Epictetus
“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” – Marcus Aurelius
They make balance bikes to get kids to learn how to balance before they start to bike. There are nuances in balancing. It’s both science and art. And when gravity wins and you fall down, get back up to try another run at balance until it strikes.
Watch a child learn to balance so you can relearn it yourself. Because we understand it, we pursue it and we so often forget it.
“Love grounds you. It orients you. Love brings your awareness to others and yourself. Love opens your mind and heart to others and yourself. Love settles you and gives you balance.” – Gary Zukav
Practice balance. Balance practice.
“Thou must be emptied of that wherewith thou art full, that thou mayest be filled with that whereof thou art empty.” – Saint Augustine
Empty the vessel to create space for new narratives, abundance and delight in the ordinary. Empty and fill.
Each day, we need to get out of our own mind to enter new worlds of books, of nature, of quiet, of thoughts that recreate our mind. When we continue to grind, going through the motions expecting different results, we run dry and unfilled. It is in wrestling in unknowing and letting go of our own answers, we discover an immense world beyond our own experience. Allow imagination and innate creativity to enter and wander with them each day.
Daily habits, plans and rituals are important to keep us on task and doing things. But in order to be drawn into meaningful things that last and add value, we must carve time to restore, replenish and feed our mind, body and spirit.
Daily journaling, reading, running and wandering into the woods pull me out of my limiting thoughts, assumptions and keeping score. It is in these activities that I am moved to deeper work, to pursuit of purpose, to richness of meaning.
Be diligent in both emptying the vessel and filling it with the things that give you peace, joy and contentment.
Empty and fill.
“When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
When your rules don’t make sense;
When you realize that your old stories are old;
When you are done with the BS;
When trying to make sense of that which makes no sense gets exhausting;
Go easy on yourself, the world and circumstances;
Hold tight to sunrise and sunset,
To strength, joy and delight in the ordinary.
“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.” – Epictetus
Resolve to not be defined by this time but define it for yourself. Be the author of your own story. Write each act with intention and diligence. We are more than our circumstances and limitations that we put on ourselves, so very much more.
The pen is in your hand, the time is now and yours alone. Write this chapter and the next, so when the third act has arrived, you have defined and owned the life you have lived. Run the race, fight the good fight, remain in the game.
“No great thing is created suddenly.” – Epictetus
“Unpacking what we’ve been through in the solitude of our reflection – this is our darkroom. This is where we incubate our attempts at understanding until they are exposed, developed, and fixed as glimpses of truth and wisdom. And yet, when we hold back on developing what we know, we dodge the lesson waiting to be revealed. And when we overthink, through worry or doubt, the insight waiting to develop within us, we are burning our experience beyond recognition.
Despite the speed of our age, we need to take experience into our heart and wait for the images of life to show themselves, all of which take time. And any ounce of honest writing requires the courage to let the lessons of life leave their markings on us. In this way, the practice of listening and reflecting etches its insights into our consciousness, and expression then develops those images into stories or poems. The ounce of wisdom we offer is always the result of the slow internalization of what life does to us.” – Mark Nepo, Drinking from the River of Light
When we stop pursuing, racing aimlessly to destination nowhere, slowing into solitude and silence amidst a loud scrambling world, patterns unfold into meaning and insight.
As much as we want “cliff notes” to get to the lessons quickly, the book of life is one to be read, line by line, chapter by chapter to the last page where it all weaves together. We can fight it and remain in the shallow of busy or we can enter the deep flow of time where light reveals the lessons to a marked, worn yet open heart.
Clarity, discernment and wisdom lie dormant, preparing to rise. Life shows itself. Slow internalization.
“We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.” – Georges Duhamel
“The true art of memory is the art of attention.” Samuel Johnson
We are doing the final clear out of my Aunt’s house to get it ready for sale. She passed away September 3rd. I stopped by a few days ago by myself, looking at the few things that remain and found this little guy in the corner of a shelf.
Instantly, it brought me back to her house on Earl Street where we spent many family holidays. It’s funny what triggers memories and where we are instantly transported by small momentos.
In the midst of loss, we suddenly get our buoyancy and pop to the surface of gratitude. As Dr. Seuss so poignantly said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” We find our way back to joy, to delight, to the present in small things.
When we are immersed in the moment fully aware, we get double blessing in the present and later when it becomes a memory that we treasure. The true gift of loss is a keen awareness and deep gratitude for this day. In this very moment, you are creating memories. so pay attention and actively participate in your life. Make today a memory worth remembering.
“Water is the softest of all things, yet it is the most powerful. The ocean patiently allows all things to flow into it. It is always flexible. The Tao is not about grasping, but allowing, like water.” – Wayne Dyer
There’s a natural flow to Sunday, inviting rest, reflection and unstructured time. The trick is taking that flow and ease into the week. When we let go of the illusion of control, we let the current carry us where it will without resistance.
Enter the week like water, allow the flow.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it.” – Nikki Giovanni
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” – Maya Angelou
We did the final haul out tonight of the few remaining items in my parent’s house. 41 years of memories, now empty rooms for someone else to fill up. Bittersweet to be sure, but it’s time. Over 3 years after Dad has passed with Mom only there a few days a week, it time to say good-bye again, let go and move on.
As with all transitions, we know when it’s the right time and yet we linger and hang on one more minute, or year or more. A lot of good memories have been built through the years in this place, but the memories were with the people first, place second. Any yet we are still tied to place, even though home is within and with others.
So good-bye old friend and welcome new memories in new places with the same and new people.
Closing is Thursday. The final good-bye of many over the past 3 months of preparation. And then moving on. So often we only see the loss and miss the gain in the process. We cling to things so tightly that we miss the gifts of now and the promise of what is to come.
There are times and seasons for everything. Let go, move on and open your arms and heart to what’s new, next and calling. Life is about experiences and relationships not about stuff and structures.