In Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly, she writes about foreboding joy, which is driven by a scarcity mindset. We go to disappointment first thinking we can beat it to the punch. So not only do we experience disappointments in life when they happen, we experience dread daily to prepare for it. No way to live.
“Scarcity and fear drive foreboding joy. We’re afraid that the feeling of joy won’t last, or that there won’t be enough, or that the transition to disappointment (or whatever is in store for us next) will be too difficult. We’ve learned that giving in to joy is, at best, setting ourselves up for disappointment and, at worst, inviting disaster. And we struggle with the worthiness issue,” she summarizes from her research.
She offers three important reminders about joy:
- Joy comes to us in moments—ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary;
- Be grateful for what you have;
- Don’t squander joy.
Embrace joy that is available to you today in ordinary moments. It is a guarantee that challenges and disappointments will happen in life. Joy and hope are the threads that pull you through those seasons.
First step to joy? Smile!
“Gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative states of being. It shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and allows you to focus on the good in your life, which in turn pulls more goodness into your reality.” – Jen Sincero
“We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.” – Georges Duhamel
“The true art of memory is the art of attention.” Samuel Johnson
We are doing the final clear out of my Aunt’s house to get it ready for sale. She passed away September 3rd. I stopped by a few days ago by myself, looking at the few things that remain and found this little guy in the corner of a shelf.
Instantly, it brought me back to her house on Earl Street where we spent many family holidays. It’s funny what triggers memories and where we are instantly transported by small momentos.
In the midst of loss, we suddenly get our buoyancy and pop to the surface of gratitude. As Dr. Seuss so poignantly said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” We find our way back to joy, to delight, to the present in small things.
When we are immersed in the moment fully aware, we get double blessing in the present and later when it becomes a memory that we treasure. The true gift of loss is a keen awareness and deep gratitude for this day. In this very moment, you are creating memories. so pay attention and actively participate in your life. Make today a memory worth remembering.
“Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin
I found the perfect rug to put on my garage doorstep where I pass through several times a day to let the girls out to the backyard. It reminds me that I’m blessed and to acknowledge it by noticing.
We need reminders, prompts, smacks to the head to be mindful and fully present in now. When we practice gratitude daily, it becomes a habit and second nature. When our “inlook” changes, our outlook changes as well.
Carry deep gratitude and thankfulness across each threshold you pass and leave kindness as you journey through to the other side. Kindness spreads gratitude.
“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
“The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.” – James Allen
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
What we sow, cultivate, prune and feed is what we reap. Plant hope, optimism, good thoughts, reap a good day, a good life.
Sow seeds today. An encouraging word. A smile. An eye to eye encounter. Notice others. We long to be seen. Give that gift and it returns to you. Leave light behind. Walk lightly. Let go of the unnecessary. Make room for joy.
Sow, reap. Plant, harvest. Seedling, tree.
“Talk unbelief, and you will have unbelief; but talk faith, and you will have faith. According to the seed sown will be the harvest.” – Ellen G. White
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” – Marcus Aurelius
Pessimism is easy, passive and spreads quickly. Optimism requires daily intention, attention and aggressive pursuit. Guard your joy. You own it and are responsible for it. No one else, it’s yours.
The girls always guard me, their toys and their joy. Each day, they remind me that joy really does come in sips, not gulps.
They were watching me get ready for work and their eyes were telling me to put on a bit more make up and do one more brush through the hair before leaving.
Joy guards reporting and on duty.
“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.” – Sharon Draper
I wasn’t feeling it this morning, so I was going to put off posting until tonight. Putting it off is the recipe for not doing it. Stop procrastinating and start right where you are now. Change your attitude and perspective.
When you don’t feel it inside, go outside for some inspiration, motivation and optimism. Day 14 – 30 day positive thinking habit. Make it a GREAT day!
Here’s 5 Positive Quotes to Jump Start Your Day!:
- “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” – Norman Vincent Peale
- “Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.” – Henri Nouwen
- “Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.” – Richard M. DeVos
- “A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” – Patricia Neal
- “It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.” – Robert H. Schuller
“Beauty is the only thing that time cannot harm. Philosophies fall away like sand, creeds follow one another, but what is beautiful is a joy for all seasons, a possession for all eternity.” – Oscar Wilde
As I was cutting the grass yesterday, it started to snow. While running this morning, it was snowing and there was wind chill which usually doesn’t enter the picture until the end of November.
In Minnesota, we are used to cold winters, but that first blast of cold is always the hardest. Your body needs to acclimate to the new normal. A month from now, we’ll be longing for a 24 degrees with wind chill.
The sooner we acclimate to the transitions in our life, the sooner we can enjoy the gifts of the next season. If the past is holding you back or you feel stuck in transition mode, let go of what’s no longer necessary and embrace what is and where you are right now. Today is all that is promised – enjoy it, even an early snow!
“We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.” – Zhuangzi
“Grace is available for each of us every day – our spiritual daily bread – but we’ve got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott
Kairos is an Ancient Greek term translated to the right time, a spiritual opportunity, the hour of grace.
May you notice all of your “Kairos” moments in all of the hours between sunrise and sunset. Do not let one day go by without taking a blessings inventory to foster deep gratitude. Invite and allow awe and joy to enter your day.
“Butterflies are nature’s angels. They remind us what a gift it is to be alive.” – Robyn Nola
I never tire of seeing butterflies, of flowers bursting, of deer passing quietly through the woods. They wake me up to the simple joy and beauty that is always in reach right now. Accept the gift.
“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Matthew 17:20
The Cathedral of Saint Paul was built between 1907-1915. Eight years with none of the equipment and tools that we have today. The workmanship is magnificent. Those who started in 1907 had the vision, the faith of a mustard seed followed by a heavy dose of fortitude and patience to finish this national treasury. Most days, we don’t have the patience to put eight minutes into something much less eight years.
The Cathedral is two blocks from the end of the Twin Cities Marathon and 10-mile run. During my three marathons especially, I would visualize seeing that beautiful sacred place many times along the long path. And when I saw the tip of the dome, I knew that I really was almost done.
A tiny seed planted takes hold, carries us along and mountains are moved. So often we try too hard to figure it out or do more. Rather than more activity, plotting and pining, we just need to be still long enough to hear that still small voice directing the next step.
Not knowing is o.k., believing in greater things than ourselves is required to live contently with deep joy rooted in optimism.
Go move mountains today, not by doing, but by faith. A mustard seed, that’s it.