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Posts tagged ‘Family’

Nov 23

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Simple Acts

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” – Henry Van Dyke

Last week, I was running back from the gym and it started to rain. I was a block away from home and a neighbor stopped to see if I was alright and offered a ride. In the middle of routine, a simple act of kindness breaks through and pierces the wall of attention.

We “attend” to so many things and over-commit that our attention is scattered in dozens of directions. Distracted by tasks, we miss so many opportunities to notice, extend or accept simple acts of kindness. To be present in the gift of now.

It is so very easy to be jaded by the world-view – the bias and cynicism of the news, the incivility of politics, the sheer speed that technology demands of our time. Our perspective on everything can get skewed by our assumptions, judgments and swift conclusions and then onto the next for more of the same. We live our days in a series of quick transactions rather than fostering meaningful relationships that require time, attention and effort.

A simple kind act received or given can shift your perspective, lift your spirit, change the direction of your day. This, by far, has not been my “favorite” year and I look forward to the year winding down. Yet woven throughout this year, these many difficult days, have been so many moments of kindness from others, joy found in simple exchanges and the gratitude of what has been lost and in all that remains.

So as we are on the cusp of Thanksgiving this week and as the holiday season moves into full swing, pause for a moment or two each day and reflect on all that you have to be grateful for right now. And then take the next step to express and share your thankfulness with others. This year, I do truly understand, vividly and deeply, how difficult the holidays will be with those who’ve gone on ahead. But they will be honored and remembered through simple acts of love that have been received and more importantly by simple acts yet to come.

Notice today and cast light.

Aug 29

Toast

“Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.” – Garrison Keillor

One of my favorite memories of the Minnesota State Fair is my parents coming out on Sunday after the 5k Milk Run, listening to music and having a beer or two with my friends. Yesterday was the first one without Dad, so we toasted the good memories and the good life we have even when it’s difficult.

“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” – Calvin Coolidge

“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” – Calvin Coolidge

True friends show up in the difficult times as well as for the toasts to honor people who remain with us even when they are gone.

Toast your life today and those who are in it right now. It is a good life. We need only open our eyes and see the light.

Aug 18

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Don’t, Don’t Miss This Day

“If every moment is sacred, and If you are amazed and in awe most of the time when you find yourself breathing and not crazy, then you are in a state of constant thankfulness, worship and humility.” – Bernice Johnson Reagon

In our frantic pursuit of who knows what, don’t miss this day. The one thing that this year has revealed in my search for understanding is that what is most important and remembered forever are the moments that we spend in simple conversation and connection, in laughter and in tears.

Be present and awake each day. And when you drift to the past or race to the future, grab yourself by the collar and pull yourself back to now. Our ordinary days offer a profoundness that we often only discover after they are gone. Capture the profound in the midst of unfolding.

Make your words more meaningful, embrace a bit longer, awaken to the sacredness of each day. Don’t ever dismiss or miss this day and the joy it offers. Ever.

Jul 13

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The FULLness of Time

“When the fullness of time comes a sacred voice at the heart of us cries out, shaking the old foundation. It draws us into a turbulence that forces us to confront our deepest issues. It’s as if some inner, divine grace seeks our growth and becoming and will plunge us, if need be, into a cauldron that seeths with questions and voices we would just as soon not hear. One way or another, the false roles, indentities and illusions spill over the sides of our life, and we’re forced to stand in chaos.” – Sue Monk Kidd

I’ve been wandering a bit lost the past few months, taking it a minute at a time, going through rather than around. Knowing if I don’t go through now, I’ll end up going through the same thing later, again and again. Head on and through, like walking hip deep through wet cement.

“We don’t cross into the ‘sphere of rebirth’ by power but by descent, by being swallowed.” – James Campbell

I haven’t written as frequently in the blog since I haven’t been casting much light lately and words are not coming easy. But an authentic life is messy and beautiful. It’s filled with light and dark, delight and burden all at the same time. Sometimes one outweighs the other, but they co-exist.

Last night I was drawn back to one of my favorite books that I read over a year ago – When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. The word seeds were planted and now have broken ground with new meaning, describing what’s been indescribable. That’s what good authors, artists and friends do. They hold a mirror to show us our true selves beyond this moment and binoculars to show us hope in what will come when the time is right. They cast beauty and light inviting us to recharge and strengthen our own resolve and light.

Yesterday afternoon, I received a heartfelt email from a friend that pierced the darkness too. Her generous and kind words reminded me yet again of the power each of us has to positively impact others’ lives with words and deeds.

“We can endure, transcend and transform the storminess when we see the meaning and mystery of it.” – Sue Monk Kidd

So with the fullness of time coupled with patience, gratitude and fortitude, we will come out on the other side, our light stronger than ever. Bring it on time, bring it on.

Jul 5

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Biding Time

“Every man must patiently bide his time. He must wait / not in listless idleness but in constant, steady, cheerful endeavors, always willing and fulfilling and accomplishing his task, that when the occasion comes he may be equal to the occasion.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I’ve been keeping Lily busy (both of us really) the past week since Molly died. She’s got loneliness in her eyes that I can’t fix and it’s like looking in a mirror. We are both biding time, knowing that with passing of time it will be more tolerable and we’ll settle into a new normal we didn’t want but need to accept. I’ve had two dogs for the past twenty years and when one leaves the other behind, it’s heartbreaking. But the love and joy that they’ve shared through the years and that they let me share with them carries us through and stays with us.

“Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” – Joseph Campbell

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” – Joseph Campbell

So some distractions like swimming, long walks, patios that allow dogs and boating give us permission to smile and carry on since there are no other real options but to go through. So we bide time, we cry, we laugh, we play and we remember well, grateful for what has been, for what is present right now and for what is to come.

Jun 27

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Sweet Molly

“The most important lesson that I have learned is to trust God in every circumstance. Lots of times we go through different trials and following God’s plan seems like it doesn’t make any sense at all. God is always in control and he will never leave us.” – Allyson Felix

“That perfect bliss and sole felicity, the sweet fruition of an earthly crown.” – Christopher Marlowe

“That perfect bliss and sole felicity, the sweet fruition of an earthly crown.” – Christopher Marlowe

As written in this blog through the years, Molly and Lily have been an integral part of my life, primarily the joy of it. They cast light so naturally and have taught me how to cast light. This post saddens me to my very core, like some others over the past few months.

Molly had surgery last week on a torn ACL – last year at this time, it was her right leg. I brought her back on Saturday for a high temperature. This morning I got a call that she was in critical condition. After hours of stressed breathing, they were able to get an x-ray indicating severe problems with her lungs. The option was to hang on for desperate measures to keep her alive for a few hours or to let her go and release her from the pain.

Unconditional love knows when to hang on and when to let go. I do find comfort in Dad embracing her in heaven and lovingly walking off the leash of this world to a peace that passes all understanding.

Farewell Sweet Molly.

molly3

Jun 19

What We Remember

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” – Cesare Pavese

Every day for the past eight weeks since Dad passed away, I have been flooded with flashes of time – moments of laughter, his gestures, our daily calls, his sage advice and quiet times just hanging out. He was not only my Dad, but my best friend who knew and understood me better than most.

Moments that seemed like little things at the time now reside front of mind and heart and what I miss the most. I want to call him to yip about my day, yap about his day or discuss the ridiculous world of politics.

Be acutely aware of the moments that you are spending or not spending with family and friends. Be careful, kind and generous with your words and acts. Go first to mend a broken relationship now so it’s not too late.

Celebrate your dad, mom, brother, sister, kids, friends each day and live well. You are creating memories that will remain deeply rooted in your heart that will carry you through good days and especially through the difficult ones. Life is built of moments. That’s what we remember, so spend them well.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

May 4

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Well Done

“The servant who had received five talents came and presented five more. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!’” – The Gospel of Matthew 25:20-21

My Dad passed away last week and the funeral is today. I’ve got so many thoughts running through my heart and head. I’ve wanted to somehow form the words into sentences that are worthy of him and what he meant to me and so many others.

Much, maybe most, of what has been written in Cast Light over the years is rooted in my parents and how they raised us, who they are and how they live/lived. The hours of conversation, laughter and tears at the wake last night from friends, family and his co-workers through the years are testament to who he was – a quiet, humble, faithful, tough, funny, generous, brilliant and loving man with integrity through and through. Not perfect, as none of us are, but always taking his talents and creating more than he started with.

These words are only but a start of the many seeds that have been planted in my heart by him. I am sure many more will come in the days ahead as we all try to figure out how to move forward without our coach, cheerleader and best friend.

The prayer of St. Francis of Assisi is so appropriate for Dad. He adored Molly and Lily and their cousins Chloe and Grace – his grand-dogs. They would gather around him because they knew how much he loved them as we all did through his actions and his words.

“Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.”
– St. Francis of Assisi

So as you enter into your beautiful and peaceful homecoming in heaven Dad, I see Jesus smiling and embracing you saying “Well done, good and faithful servant, well done. Enter into the joy of your Master.”

momdadme

 

Mar 14

The Light of a Smile

“Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.” – Lord Byron

Should you forget your blessings, pause for a moment;
Should you lose your way, pause for a moment;
Should you be tossed about by the winds, pause for a moment;

For in the quiet moments of repose, we shall be gently reminded of the abundance abound, the path will rise to meet us and we shall discover the depth of our roots and the freedom and light of a smile, both given and received.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” – Nhat Hanh

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” – Nhat Hanh

An Old Irish Blessing
“May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!”
– Source: islandireland.com

Mar 8

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2190 Days

“There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.” – William Barclay

It’s Lily’s 6th birthday today. Lily wakes up around 5:00 am every day (yes, even the weekends) with a boundless enthusiasm, boisterous curiosity and a smile that won’t quit. And she demands that Molly and I join in. A paw to the shoulder, her butt up in the air, head down and then the famous flop on top of me, she’s ready to start the day and she needs her pack to join in. Every morning, she wipes the slate clean, starts anew in the hunt for delight.

Lily’s life is measured in moments and days. A lesson she teaches and reteaches me when I forget and go astray. And for the past 2190 days of her life, she has made my life and Molly’s more fun, rich and meaningful. The strut in her walk with her ear flipped back when she was a puppy remains strong and intact today. She’s loving life and it’s loving her right back.

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” Dr. Seuss

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” Dr. Seuss

So Happy 6th Birthday or 2190 Days Celebration of Really Living Life Lily. May we all be so wise, kind and generous in sharing wonder and awe by living each and every moment on purpose and with purpose.

“It takes a long time to become young.” – Pablo Picasso

“It takes a long time to become young.” – Pablo Picasso

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