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Posts tagged ‘Friends’

Aug 28

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Harmonious Hum

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.”― Dolly Alderton, Everything I Know About Love

In the busy of the day.
Amidst your to do list.
Rushing from one thing to the next.
In overthinking and overdoing.
Pause.
Feel the weight of love.
Gravity and immensity.
Bold and bright.
In ordinary exchanges.
In each day.
Simple moments.
Let it in.
Pass it on.
A smile.
Listening.
Patience.
Encouragement.
A hello.
In simple words and ways.
Guardian of hope.
Harmonious hum.
Love runs through it all.
Do not miss it.
Give, receive, give without counting.

“Maybe friendship is being the guardian of another person’s hope. Leave it with me and I’ll look after it for a while , if it feels too heavy for now.”― Dolly Alderton, Ghosts

Apr 27

Flying Buttresses

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“God, you called me to love, but people are inherently risky. Telling my story, being known, asking for help, complaining again about the things I worry might sound cliche by now.

Shouldn’t I be over it already? But something is happening when I am known. I am becoming stronger somehow.

I am reminded of the walls I’ve seen holding up cathedrals, flying buttresses, engineered to provide support for a fragile wall, allowing them to be built taller, more stunning, more covered with ornaments or filled with stained glass, letting all the colorful light dance in. The walls would collapse without them there, but, strengthened, they create something beautiful. God, when I’m no longer quite so tall and strong, give me those who hold me up, and remind me of who I am and that I’m loved.

Yes, I will get back up again today. Yes, I will get those kids cereal and help my parents with an errand. Yes, I’ll go to work or come up with something better to do with retirement hours.

I will try again. I know I will, because someone else’s absurd faith in me is fortifying. So blessed are our flying buttresses for they hold us up when everything seems ready to come apart, allowing us to face today. Not because we’re doing it alone, but precisely because we aren’t.” – Kate Bowler & Jessica Richie, The Lives We Actually Have

I am raptly aware and deeply grateful for the “flying buttresses” in my life.
Those who walk beside me and hold me up.
Those I can hold up too.
May we support, love without condition (the definition of love), extend, invite, build up and let the colorful light in and out.
Thank you for the encouragers, the path lighters, the hand holders, the strengtheners, the generous, the cheerleaders, the blockers and tacklers.
We do not walk this path alone.
Thank God for the flying buttresses.
Amen.

“There is a wave of gratefulness because people are becoming aware how important this is and how this can change our world. It can change our world in immensely important ways, because if you’re grateful, you’re not fearful, and if you’re not fearful, you’re not violent. If you’re grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people, and you are respectful to everybody, and that changes this power pyramid under which we live.”― David Steindl-Rast

Sep 19

Yield to the Beauty of Friendship

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran

Three hours on the St. Croix River.
On a Monday even.
Leaves on the cusp of changing color.
Paddling slowly.
Pausing to watch the eagles above and elusive turtles on log tips slipping into water.
Slow conversation.
Topics all over the place.
Struggles, successes, daily life, dreams, delight, joy.
The stuff of true friendship.
Timeless and no rules.
Easy like the river flowing.
Yield to the beauty of friendship.
Gratitude is a deep river.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

Sep 12

To Be Known

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

a blessing for friends who hold us up by Kate Bowler

“God, you called me to love
but people are inherently risky.
Telling my story, being known, asking for help,
complaining again about
the thing I worry might sound cliché by now. Shouldn’t I be over it already?

But something is happening when I am known.
I am becoming stronger somehow.

I am reminded of the pillars I’ve seen
holding up cathedrals.
Flying buttresses, engineered to provide support for a fragile wall,
allowing them to be built taller, more stunning, more covered with ornaments
or filled with stained glass,
letting all the colorful light dance in.

The walls would collapse without them there, but strengthened, they create something beautiful.
God, when I am no longer quite so tall and strong, give me those who hold me up
and remind me of who I am and that I’m loved.

Yes, I’ll get back up again today.
Yes, I’ll get those kids cereal
and help my parents with an errand.
Yes, I’ll go to work or come up with something better to do with retirement hours.

I will try again.
I know I will,
because someone else’s absurd faith in me
is fortifying

So, blessed are our flying buttresses.
For they hold us up
when everything seems ready to come apart, allowing us to face today—
not because we’re doing it alone—
but precisely because we aren’t.”

Monthly dinners.
Texts, calls to check in.
“Likes” and comments on Facebook posts.
Some things we agree on.
Some things we don’t.
The one thing we all agree on is the blessing of friendship.
Making time for connection.
Reaching out.
Creating new adventures.
Scheduling “play dates.”
Live the good life with what’s right in front of you, right now.
Foster, feed and nurture friendships.
The blossoms are beautiful.

“The good life is not always just out of reach after all. It is not waiting in the distant future after a dreamy career success. It’s not set to kick in after you acquire some massive amount of money. The good life is right in front of you, sometimes only an arm’s length away. And it starts now.”― Robert Waldinger, The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Study on Happiness

May 14

Phenomenal Women’s Day

“A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend.” — Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words

“A warrior believes in an end she can’t see and fights for it. A warrior never gives up. A warrior fights for those weaker than herself. It sounds like motherhood to me.” — Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale

For Moms
For women who love unconditionally, who may not be Moms for whatever reason
Those with us and those who have gone on ahead to wait for us, who remain in our hearts
Tough, resilient, soft, tender, unselfish, fierce, bold
Models of unconditional love, grace and light
To all of the women in our life who walk beside us on our journey
To all mothers who nurture, hold, seek peace but will fight when necessary, anchored in love and protection
Who teach us “Yes!” to life and love
Honored and revered today and each day
Happy Mother’s Day!

“It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.” – Maya Angelou

Mar 15

With Singing, Thanksgiving, Praise and Lament

The podcast I listened to yesterday and on the way to the funeral home for Mom’s wake was someone I quote here often author Kate Bowler. The topic this week is called Number Our Days with Reverend Tom Long about funerals. God’s timing is not ours but is perfect and always on time. It was the right thing at the right time followed by hours of family and friends sharing stories, long hugs, laughter, tears and celebrating Mom’s life and preparing for the final earthly good-bye today.

Tom Long shared many insightful thoughts including “there’s a great passage in the Gospel of John when Jesus says to his disciples, “Are you going to leave me like everybody else?” And Peter says, “Where would we go? You have the words of life.” And I think pastors find performing funerals, presiding at funerals, richly satisfying because they recognize that people are responding to the word of life that they bring. Pastors are the last one standing. The physicians have all fled. The lawyers haven’t arrived yet. And there we are. And somebody has to say something that has power and promise and comfort and meaning in this momentous occasion. And that’s what we get to do.”…”I think that’s why we break into song. That’s why the apostolic constitution, an ancient liturgical document, says in the death of the saints, accompany them with singing, not with explanations, but with but with singing, thanksgiving, Praise, lament.

Mom is reunited with Dad, her parents and brothers, all of the relatives and friends who went before, especially her Mom who she hasn’t seen in 76 years and my Aunt Marion who was her best friend.

Mom would always say “bye now.” So, Mom, bye now and bye for now. I’ll see you after today in people, places, daily activities, sacred spaces woven in each ordinary day, in my actions, words, in habits, in my family and mostly in my heart where Dad has been for 7 years since his homegoing. Thanks Mom and Dad for being my parents but perhaps most importantly, my best friends, the ones who saw me before I saw me.

“Surrender to the beauty of revealing yourself to yourself, and to the ones who saw you before you saw you.”― Carolyn Brown, Hummingbird Lane

The journey of Lent has an even deeper meaning this year. We don’t walk nor carry our crosses alone. The only road to the third day of resurrection is right through the middle of day one and two. We love you Mom. I love you Mom. Rest in peace, grace and light. May those who remain, number our days well.

“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.” – John 11:25-26

Mar 11

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Love to Complete Your Life

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”― Washington Irving

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Mom joined Dad in heaven this week.
We walk her home for ourselves next week.
86 years old.
Tough and soft, tender steel.
From farm roots.
East side of Saint Paul, those who lived there know what that means.
Neighbors, friends, loyalty, family, community, laughter, hard work, hard play.
Love completed her life and remains for us to complete our own journey.
Grief and gratitude.
Joy and laughter.
Memories across a lifetime, not just a snapshot in time.
A good story.
May each of us complete our own story with comfort, smiles, rainbows, laughter, sunsets, hugs, beauty, friendships, faith, confidence, courage, patience and overflowing love. And the gift of God’s peace that passes all understanding.

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”― Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times

Nov 1

You Can Be…

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” – William Blake

“You do not have to choose
one or the other: a dream or a dreamer, the
bird or the birder. You may be a woman of
commotion and quiet. Magic and brain.

You can be a mother and a poet. A wife and
a lover. You can dance on the graves you dug
on Tuesday, pulling out the bones of yourself
you began to miss.”― Kate Baer, What Kind of Woman

You can be a mix, a mess, brilliant and beautiful.
You are all of that and so much more.
Paradox, complexity, simplicity, shallow, deep.
Surround yourself with friends and family, loving their flaws and all their quirkiness, your own too.
We are more than what we do, our mistakes, our errors, beyond perfection to real and true.
Love saves us all.

“Follow the flawed, the real, the messy. Follow the women who say it like it is, no filter, no glossing, no bull. Follow those people who accept themselves, and you, as you are. And leave the rest to edit their lives to perfection,”― Donna Ashworth, I Wish I Knew: Poems to Soothe Your Soul & Strengthen Your Spirit

Jan 4

Yeah! It’s Monday!

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Einstein

We fall into patterns and mindsets that don’t serve us well. Sundays before Mondays are heavy as we contemplate the “to do” list for the week. Fridays we sigh with relief that we made it through four grueling days. We find joy in three days and forego the other four.

Enough. Take each and every day back! Be as excited on Monday as you are on Friday by changing your expectations, trying new things and not falling for false narratives.

Each day is a gift ready to be seen and opened. Pay attention and tune out the noise. Be willing to accept joy in ordinary moments and create memories on a weekday rather than on vacation and long weekends.

As we come off a few weeks of holidays and respite from the grind, commit and build time into each day for self-care, delight and celebration of ordinary moments. Life is meant for the grand not the grind. Dare to be light and carefree, even and especially on a Monday. Repeat on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Get into the grind of joy!

A few hours with Jeanne and the girls proved to be, yet again, good medicine for the soul.

Yeah!!! It’s Monday. May we each have the wisdom to say this daily prayer, “God, I am blessed and I know it in my bones. Thank you and Amen!”

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” – Wayne Dyer

Dec 19

Right in Your Own Backyard

“On your journey, don’t forget to smell the flowers. Take time out to notice that you’re alive. You can only live in one day.” – Ray Fearon

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” – William Morris

Last week, I took Abby and Sasha for the first time to a dog park in Hastings when meeting a friend to pick up a Christmas gift that she painted. When we first arrived and I took them off leash, they were perplexed. Surely I made a mistake, they were in open space with other dogs and new territory to explore. Once they acclimated, they absolutely loved it.

Abby chased tennis balls with her usual vigor and delight. Sasha was the social director, introducing herself and making friends with other dogs inviting them to chase her and she would reciprocate. I was so pleasantly surprised and wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner.

There’s a dog park just blocks from my house that I’ve passed for years and never stopped. This week, we went there every day. Each time, they were excited as the first time, meeting new friends and dancing through leaves to hunt balls.

So often, we have places, people and blessings in plain sight, right in our own “backyard.” We miss them going on to the next thing, to the “better” yard, the “other person’s” yard. We pass them each day, not noticing, taking them for granted, as if invisible. In the middle of our ordinary days are extraordinary gifts.

Start noticing and exploring your own “backyard” with gratitude, awe and joy. It’s a beautiful view right outside your window.

“God is in the details.” – Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

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