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Posts tagged ‘Positive attitude’

Feb 19

Steep

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Tea time is a chance to slow down, pull back and appreciate our surroundings.” – Letitia Baldrige

It’s going to break into the teens today and 20s this weekend. After two weeks of below zero temps, 20s will be balmy. Dog parking, snowshoeing and running will commence today with a deeper gratitude and appreciation for the outdoors.

The past year of a pandemic, weeks of below zero and weather extremes across the country have steeped us like teabags in hot water. It’s been long enough, the tea leaves have dissipated in the water, there’s no flavor left, pull us out already. The tea is dark and strong.

Our timing and God’s timing are rarely in sync, and God is always on time. While steeped and stuck in the hot water, in the desert and winters of life, rather than longing to be pulled out already, perhaps the answer lies in us listening quietly, observing with rapt attention and opening up our being to receive the cues, clues and signs that we are surrounded with in this present moment.

We have had a combination bootcamp/master class this year in self-awareness and gratitude, the first ingredients to empathy and transformation – the ability to go outside ourselves and see our connectedness to others, awakening to our shared path and grateful for what already is present. Rather than pass hard and fast on the left in a rush to what’s next and new, we can move alongside each other and continue our journey together on our journey to return home to authentic self and becoming.

The only way to the other side is right through the middle. Not around or about but through. We fritter away a lot of time looking for shortcuts and loopholes rather than do the root work of seed germination that’s required to break ground, unfold into bud and burst into beautiful bloom.

Do not forgo this time. Go deep until the tea bag has expended all the flavor into the water. Steep and when it’s time, savor.

Feb 15

A Bit Longer

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.” – Henry Ward Beecher.

“Whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.” – C.S.Lewis.

When I went into the kitchen to get my water with lemon and coffee to start the day, one of the stems of my amaryllis plant with three blooming flowers had broken overnight, holding on by a thread and laying to the side of the pot. I cut the thread that remained away from the bulb, filled a crystal pitcher and promptly put the stem in the water to see if I could hold on a bit longer to the full bloom. When it withers and has its full time, I will discard it, but for now I’ll linger in gratitude of the beauty that is available to me now.

Flowers, music, art, quiet time, reflection are simple ways to foster a sense of gratitude, deepen awareness of the present moment. We have an accurate count of what is missing in our life, perhaps even an inflated one. Focusing on the depth of the valleys, we forego the height of the mountains that exist along side concurrently.

We discard and dismiss, racing off to what we think will want, only to be disappointed when we arrive to our destination and it is not what we thought it would be. It is impossible to find happiness outside of self.  It is the root, the start and the end. Embrace the present in deep gratitude and awareness while glancing to the future filled with hope and anticipation. The past, our circumstances, other people are out of the realm of our control. Our attitude and outlook is ours alone.

Lyrics from Kathy Mattea’s song Standing Knee Deep In A River sums it up well – “knee deep in a river, dying from thirst.”

“Why I ever let them go…
They roll by just like water, and I guess we never learn.
We go through life, parched and empty
Standin’ knee deep in a river, and dying of thirst…”

Root each day and every day in gratitude. Knee deep in a river, overflowing in abundance and satisfied with now. Capture and take full account of both blessings and burdens, valleys and the mountains. Stay a bit longer in gratitude, steeped in the present moment.

Feb 14

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The Power of Love

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” – Mother Teresa

“Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” – Leo Buscaglia

Valentine’s Day began as the Feast of St. Valentine to honor the love and sacrifice of early Christian martyrs. One account includes the imprisonment of Saint Valentine of Rome for ministering to Christians persecuted under the Roman Empire in the third century. Another one is of Saint Valentine restoring sight to the blind daughter of his jailer. There are other associations connecting the saint with the advent of spring. With a wind chill temperature of 45 below in Minnesota this morning, I’m going with celebrating the advent of spring soon, please.

Like Christmas, Valentine’s Day has been secularized to sell stuff, with a focus on romantic love. Returning to its origins, you can choose to celebrate the power of all love, the gift of springs in the winters of life. Reflect on those who love you and who you love in return, present and past. Deepen your awareness to the healing, sustaining and transformational power of unconditional love from God, self and others.

Celebrate the power of love today and practice it imperfectly everyday to be transformed. Cast love, light and joy and be open to receive it in return.

Feb 13

In Kindness Rather than In Kind

“Every day brings new choices.” – Martha Beck

“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.” – Saint Basil

I have had many conversations in my head with others, things I want to say to “set the record straight,” to “put them in their place,” to “lay it on the line.” Fortunately, I’ve kept most of those where they belong – unsaid. When they’ve escaped and actually came out, regret usually followed. At times, it is appropriate to not be a doormat as well and to speak our own voice.

Our choice is between reacting “in kind” – returning what’s given to us, especially the negativity and criticism or responding “in kindness” – by not returning the same so we don’t turn into that which we want to avoid. Complaint, negativity and criticism are rampant and only create a downward spiral. Gratitude, optimism and hope offer an alternative and multiplies rather than substracts, a whirlwind upward, a deep well to draw from.

So little of what people serve us in negativity, complaint and consternation has anything to do with us. When we take it personally, we allow them to steal our joy. That person who cut you off, the coworker who has a bad attitude and shares it every time you interact with her/him so you do everything to avoid her/him, the family member or friend who triggers that 10 year old in you are all carrying their own burdens and struggles. When we understand this, we have arrived at empathy and understanding and can move out from that place rather than the “what about me?” hole.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements are simple rules and principles to follow that can help us respond “in kindness” rather than “in kind,” freeing us from the power and winds of external forces that we allow to permeate our internal state of joy and peace:

  1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
  2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
  4. Always Do Your Best.

As Maya Angelou said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” We can choose to respond with empathy, understanding, positivity and optimism to combat negativity and model a different path that creates contentment and joy, which is in short supply right now.

Choose mindfully and with forethought the energy that you put out into the world. You can be that thread of hope, that beam of light, that source of joy that someone desperately needs from you now.

“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” – Stephen Grellet

Feb 10

It is What it is

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness.” – John Keats

We are creatures who thrive on control and certainty. The past year has been filled with uncertainty and chaos. Lately, I hear a lot of people say “it is what it is,” a statement of acceptance, a prompt to let go of what’s not in our control. Some circumstances, other people, a pandemic, the past belong in this “bucket.” However, our attitude, thoughts, actions, reactions and perspective are not in this bucket. We have agency over these and should not “surrender” to mere acceptance and resignation.

As I look at the date today when I began writing, I realize that we are coming up on the one-year of the pandemic becoming part of the world’s everyday reality. I also realize that it’s in the backdrop for me, not the forefront. The distribution of the vaccine is in the forefront, promising hope and anticipation of getting to the other side of the pandemic and not returning to pre-pandemic times but to a new and even better tomorrow.

We are not there yet to be sure and many have lost loved ones the past year so we are amidst the grieving and trauma of what the pandemic has left in its wake. The dailyness of “pandemic” living has also taken it’s toll. Moving through grief and trauma, whether it be a pandemic or other life altering event, is the only way to the other side.

Daily rituals can expand “it is what it is” thinking to include anticipation of “what’s possible.” My strategies over the past year that have helped me move the pandemic to the backdrop rather than the forefront include training for a marathon, exercising, writing daily, going to the dog park with the girls and meditation/prayer using Insight Timer.

On Insight Timer this morning, I decided to listen to a Ted-Talk by Dr. James S. Gordon founder of The Center for Mind-Body Medicine on Fulfilling Trauma’s Hidden Promise. It is a compelling talk that offers strategies from a psychiatrist, which I am not so I highly recommend taking 20 minutes to listen. Optimism is a strategy and fuel for living that can break patterns that bind. Creativity and meditation are conduits to healing and joy.

“Trauma comes to all of us, and its consequences can be terrible. The good news is that all of us can use tools of self-awareness and self-care to heal our trauma and, indeed, to become healthier and more whole than we’ve ever been.”― James S. Gordon, The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma

There is good news to be found in each day. Pursue it. Each of us are the authors of our own life, so choose the “pen” of hope, faith, anticipation and light to write a beautiful narrative and happy ending.

 

Feb 9

Your Lion’s Suit

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

“The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage.” –  Thucydides

I stopped by to visit and drop off a few coloring books for Liam who was just getting up from a Sunday nap. He walked out in his lion suit, a costume sewed decades ago by my Aunt Terry for my niece Emily for Halloween.

A random day in February and it was lion suit day. I’ve written often in Cast-Light about my dogs, Liam, friends and family. All sources of inspiration and frustration (humans can do that), light and love. Who and what we surround ourselves with defines the quality of our life. As important, perhaps more so, is who and what we surround our self with inside of thoughts, mind and actions – the me in the we.

When we are our most authentic self, showing up in our own lion suit and not the one others think we should be wearing, we come home to joy, purpose, clarity and contentment.

Many will tell you what “suit” they expect you to wear.
Don’t listen.
Many will tell you that you don’t wear a lion suit that’s too small for you on a Sunday afternoon.
Don’t listen.
Many will tell you, do it my way, it’s better.
Don’t listen.

Wear your lion suit with joy, awe and wonder, entering your own space, completing your own assignment. When I drift and wander, listening to everything but my own voice, I find the courage of a lion again when I see Liam in his lion suit, unapologetic, filled with joy and coloring outside the lines.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” – Ephesians 6:11-18 NIV

Feb 8

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The Creative Spirit

“When you seek the presence of your creative Spirit and are filled with passion about virtually everything you undertake, you’ll successfully remove the roadblocks from your life and enjoy the active presence of Spirit.” – Wayne Dyer

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” – Ansel Adams

My nephew Liam finished coloring the Peacock picture with bright brilliant colors. He proudly handed it to me to tell me he made it for me so I could hang it on the refrigerator. I happily accepted his work of art and witnessed the pure joy that comes from acknowledgement, praise and encouragement. He understands the deep joy of dancing with his creative spirit. All children do.

People say it again and again – “I’m not creative.” Every person is creative. It is rooted in the human spirit. First signs show up when we are children. Then the opinions, judgment, rules, criticism, comparison of others who had the same thing done to them demand that we “grow up,” be realistic and get to work, leaving dreams and spirit by the side of the road.

Enough. Time to get off that ride and reclaim your creative spirit through play, adventure, trying new things, art, music, literature, nature – fuel to drive, water to nourish, sunlight to grow. There’s power in creative expression, joy and wonder, in returning to the pure child within us that remains through our life, longing to come out to partake.

Optimism is the best way to reclaim that creative spirit. It forces us to look at all sides and still choose positivity and best-case scenario thinking over cynicism and “reality.” When we move out into the world through the lens of optimism, we invite others to come out and play in the sandbox of hope, light and exploration. It’s your turn. Would you come out to play?

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” – Colin Powell

Feb 7

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Take a Mulligan

“Time moves in one direction, memory in another.” – William Gibson

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” – RUMI

In golf, taking a mulligan is a “do-over,” taking another shot after a bad one. This morning started with a few minor irritations that I had to take care of right away. It interrupted my morning rituals and I was going to skip morning pages, writing my daily post for Cast-Light and listening to Insight Timer, my daily non-negotiable activities. The details aren’t relevant other than it offered an inflection point to decide if it would be major and direct the rest of my day.

Hard STOP. Pivot over spiral.

I decided to take a “mulligan” and restart the day to choose the direction rather than succumb to the spiral of a bad start, of a golf ball shanked into the woods.

The thing about mulligans is that you can only take them in the present moment, at the precise point of inflection. It is the only time that they work. We can’t take mulligans for what’s happened in the past. While we linger in past offences – both received and given, in roads not taken and taken, in words said and not said, time is ticking. We forgo and fritter away the present, the only place we can influence and experience.

While we can’t change the past, we can heed the lessons to do things differently, choose new paths and know that every mile mattered to get to the present. The past has had its turn, the present offers new trails and adventures to explore, to start fresh each day. In those moments when you start to spiral to old patterns and triggers, familiar reactions, making minor things major, take a mulligan to change the trajectory of your day upward and forward.

Create and commit to two to three “non-negotiables” for yourself to not only serve yourself better but others as well. What we offer daily – positive or negative – is cast upon the world and returns to us tenfold. When the golf ball plops in the middle of the pond, choose the positive, take a mulligan, drop another ball and take another swing. Start from a settled place, centered in intention and attention, to properly prepare yourself to see the extraordinary in ordinary days.

“The beginning is always today.”― Mary Shelley

Feb 3

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The Gifts

Start your day slowly, quietly and with intent. Throughout the day, listen to your own voice, seek wisdom outside when thoughts constrict rather than expand your view. Poetry, music and art are balms to the soul, a lift to the spirit.

For the past six months, the most fruitful ritual that has become a nonnegotiable is the Insight Timer app. It is the best tool to guide me into quiet, contemplation and exploration. It has changed the quality of my days, especially as we move through one year of “pandemic living.”

Amy Bost Henegar has 4-6 minute prayers that are uplifting and grounding at the same time. In the one I chose today, she referenced a poem by Ann Weems that is worth sharing as we move closer to the other side of pandemic living into whatever may come next.

We are in transformational times, struggling in the dark cocoon and preparing for the promise of the butterfly, which never fails. Resilience, optimism and hope are the fuel to move through all difficulties in life. The pandemic wasn’t the first nor will it be the last chronic and comprehensive struggle we will experience. Misery, consternation and fear do not make transformational times pass more quickly, rather they only serve to steal our joy that’s available despite circumstances, other people and even a pandemic. Dare to find awe and open the gifts in both ordinary and extraordinary days.

The Gifts of the Magi, Ann Weems, Kneeling in Bethlehem

“O Lord, I’d like to go to the stable this night!
I’d run – even through the dark
To lay my gifts at your feet!
Lord, why couldn’t I have been there?
I needn’t have been a king – perhaps just a shepherd child
Or someone sent from the inn – To check on the progress of the birth…
Or are you waiting this night in other stables
For me – to bring my gift?
Are you waiting for me to run
Even through the dark and cold of the night?

Feb 2

The Premise of Enough, The Promise of Abundance

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” -Wayne Dyer

“The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts.” – Marianne Williamson

When we begin with the premise of being “enough,” we stop the futile, exhausting search to find ourselves in far off places, different circumstances and other people. Enough is the invitation to journey within. Stop adding, comparing and counting. By taking inventory, we find all that is hidden in plain sight under the piles of self-made clutter that we’ve accumulated in our pursuit of more.

Create two piles – what to discard and what to keep. Get rid of the discard pile to create space for abundance. Leave it in the past, integrate it and move forward. Take back your power by detaching, discarding and begin to fill the space with only what’s necessary and nurturing.

Move to the “keep” pile, create order for easy access. The categories include lessons, habits, practices, rituals, dreams and plans. Fueled by optimism and abundance, begin using the “keep” pile to build something from the materials that you already have available right now. It’s been beneath the clutter of “someday” and “more.”

You’ve already arrived and today is your “someday.” Begin with enough and move forward from a place of abundance to pursue contentment, joy and discovery of your unique place in the world, your purpose for being.

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” Brene Brown

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