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Posts from the ‘Dogs’ Category

Jan 24

Ordinary Every Day IS the Gift

“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.” – Sharon Draper

As I scrolled through years of photos on my phone, I landed on a photo from April 25, 2016. An ordinary day, a Monday, a most ordinary day.  A moment captured of Molly enjoying one of her favorite toys in the backyard.

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?'” – William Arthur Ward

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” – William Arthur Ward

At the time, as with most of ordinary days, I had no idea how important this ordinary day was or so many that came before or those to follow. So often, we pass through days like these, unaware of all of the gifts found in simple moments as we pursue and wait for the next interesting thing.

Three days later, Dad passed away and that not-so-ordinary day of April 28th was the start of a series of not-so-ordinary days of loss. Unexpectedly again, Molly passed away on June 27 and Lily on October 4.

Ordinary days become extraordinary when we look back in deep appreciation, after they occur. But we are summoned to gratitude and awe right now in this moment, in the ordinary every day moments. That’s the gift that we need not pursue or search for. It is right in front of us, right now.

Pause and look around each day with rapt attention to what is in the present. Take a picture with your phone, but more importantly in your heart. These days will not come again and we don’t know when those not-so-ordinary days will enter to change our lives forever.

Capture and experience with delight the silly, subtle and sweet moments of every day. That is the gift.

Jan 10

2 Comments

Flexibility

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” – Lao Tzu

When we’re young, we’re agile, flexible. We bend and don’t break. Experience, time, age changes us. We become rigid, rule-following, hard as rock in our ways, leading with “no,” “can’t,” “it’s too late.” Yet we have a choice to lead with “yes,” to choose differently.

So as you enter this day, start with “yes” and follow it with several more “yeses.” Be flexible and loosen up a bit. We become more agile with practice. We become more of what we want to be with practice, actually.

Laugh more, be silly, let go of all the “shoulds,” “musts” and “have-tos.” Be like water, or like puppy Abby. Softer, flexible, irresistible.

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Bernard Williams

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Bernard Williams

Jan 6

2 Comments

Friendship, No Kinship

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” –  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I was going to title this post friendship to talk about the bonds of friendship that we form through life, if we are wise and lucky enough. But some friends become family, they know what we are thinking and feeling, often times before we know. They understand that it’s more than enough to be present  through all that life sends our way, no words needed.

So after three very long and intense weeks at work, I looked forward to meeting Chris and Lynn for a beer at my favorite place (Urban Growler) today. They had “something” for me. A painting that they had commissioned an artist to paint of Molly and Lily from a picture on this blog. I lost both Molly and Lily a few months after my Dad in 2016. A gift beyond words, from friendship to kinship.

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” – Thomas Aquinas

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” – Thomas Aquinas

My Dad, Molly and Lily were my best friends. This painting, this gift, honors those special relationships that go well beyond words, well beyond death. If you are blessed enough to have friends who are kin, who are generous like Chris and Lynn, be grateful.

Dec 29

2 Comments

Beginnings

“Genuine beginnings begin within us, even when they are brought to our attention by external opportunities.” – William Throsby Bridges

While this is the season of new beginnings, we are surrounded by new beginnings all year long, well beyond January. Make your resolution this year to be awake, attentive and open to all that’s new each and every day. If we can achieve this, we won’t need New Year’s Eve to start again.

This year has been a year of many endings with seeds of new beginnings scattered throughout. Snuggle and hold tight to your blessings and release all of the rest.

“Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings. Not all things are blest, but the seeds of all things are blest. The blessing is in the seed.” – Muriel Rukeyser

“Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings. Not all things are blest, but the seeds of all things are blest. The blessing is in the seed.” – Muriel Rukeyser

Dec 18

4 Comments

Home Again

abby1w

“Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles M. Schulz

After a 12 hour round trip to Thief River Falls, Minnesota, Abby is home and Abby is my new home. Home is so much more than a place. Places, people (and pups), conversations, memories, moments, our true north all make up home. Often hard to put into words but clear as crystal when we arrive. Comfort, ease, acceptance, laughter, tears, connection, understanding without explanation – when we have these, we are home.

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“Happiness is a warm puppy” is not merely because they are cute. That’s undisputed. It goes deeper than fun and frolic, and there’s plenty. A puppy models for us ever so brilliant humans the critical importance of play, delight, immersion in the very moment, not looking back or ahead. Puppies chase a ball with intent, purpose and focus without distraction. They move on when done to engage fully in the next moment, emptied of the past and future to be filled completely with the present.

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This weekend is a homecoming for Abby and for me. We think we take care of them, but in reality, they are taking care of us. Home again, indeed. Welcome home.

abby2

Dec 7

11 Comments

The Next Chapter

“The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.” – Jimi Hendrix

The story of our life, each chapter, unfolds as it should. This year, the chapters that I’ve written and that have been written for me, I do not understand right now. But each chapter builds on the next as the plot thickens and the characters that enter our story gently hold our hand and lead us deeper into our story.

For many years, I’ve shared the stories, antics and adventures of Molly my Samoyed and Lily my Golden Retriever. My parents made it in here quite a bit as well. They have been the main characters for so long that where they end and I begin is hard to separate. We define each other. Those closest to us make us our best self as they patiently hold us through our not-so-best self.

Losing Dad in April, Molly in June and Lily in October has left me wandering a bit, trying to get back to my center. As I have bided time, as we all must, I’ve have accepted my “new” normal and continue on. And while it often seems like forever, we do heal, we do become whole again in a different way.

And now the next chapter.  Abby, a sweet golden retriever who will be joining my family on December 16th. As we mark our days of loss, we must also mark our days of joy and anticipation. And joy is so much sweeter when we’ve been on the other side.

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” – Orson Welles

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” – Orson Welles

Abby follows a long line of best friends who have come before to shape me with their canine wisdom and unconditional love, making me a better human. Greta, Misha, Elly, Molly, Lily – my characters that have come before remain in my story even today. No one or nothing that ever comes before is ever truly gone. The best of them remain in us. Abby joins a line of wonderful characters and she will be her own unique character, bringing all new adventures and creating the next chapter.

Our life is not one word, one line, one page, one chapter. It is woven together to make up a composition. Keep writing your story and allow others to write on the pages as well. The final chapter will come all too soon, so enjoy today’s page and cast light.

Oct 4

16 Comments

Mark This Day

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving

I need to mark this day. A day of loss and one of deep gratitude as well – often what life is made of – a mix of both.  So many of the good lessons I’ve learned over the years have come from Lily. My funny, goofy best friend who always knew how to brighten a room with her levity and capacity for sheer delight.

After over a month struggling with an auto-immune disease, I needed to make a choice for her today, not me. Even after two blood transfusions, multiple tests and over eight medications, she wasn’t bouncing to her natural state of joy. As soon as she generated blood red cells, they were destroyed. After her second transfusion on Sunday, her red blood count dropped to half where it should be at a minimum. She wasn’t who she was and she was suffering.

It’s never easy to make the decision to say goodbye to a loyal and loving friend, but when you see the relief in her eyes as the pain releases from her body, you know it’s the right decision. She was only six years old and was still heartbroken over losing Molly in June and Dad in April. We were making our way, marking our days together, mending each other’s heart.

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Mark your days – each and every one – the good ones and the oh so difficult ones. And know underneath someone else’s distant or distracted nature, something very difficult may be going on in their life and most likely is. It happens to all of us to be sure. Be kind and compassionate especially if you don’t feel like it. And remember that we don’t have forever, so start enjoying your life today.

Lily showed me unconditional love, how to lighten up and how to greet others – with wide open eyes, boundless energy and an unending smile. And, if necessary, gently holding your arm in her mouth.

Safe travels to heaven Lily and give Molly and Dad a big hug from me. You’ll be sure to make your mark there like you did on my life here. Thank you love.

lilyandmollylilymollylake

Aug 9

EFG – Effort, Faith and Grace

“Effort at its most fundamental level is just that commitment to try, to work hard, to give our all, not knowing where that will lead is also a working definition of faith. Life has taught me that, regardless of what we face, effort and faith will lead us into the larger stream of life that holds us. And being held by the larger stream of life is another way to describe grace.” – Mark Nepo, The One Life We’re Given

“Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” – Bradley Whitford

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.” – Bradley Whitford

No matter how many times you throw the stick, Grace (my poochie niece) always runs off the dock full throttle with the same level of effort and enthusiasm at the beginning and at the end.

The stick is out of reach but only if you don’t pursue it with all of your heart, soul and being. Yet again, our four-legged friends teach us two-legged over-complicating wanderers how to live well and completely by pursuing the stick and never, ever giving up.

EFG

Jul 26

4 Comments

Permission to Play

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.” – Marianne Williams

In the past months, I’ve been asked a lot “how are you doing?” While I appreciate the concern, I feel obligated to say “good,” to avoid talking about how I am really feeling, to not share the impact and depth of loss since who really wants to hear it. I often don’t want to hear it, say it or feel it myself.

But to be straight up and honest – Lily and me miss the members of our pack and best friends – Molly and Dad. It’s been a month for Molly and three months for Dad. Each day that passes eases the sharp and deep blow, yet a steady melancholy remains. Loneliness is hard to explain. Yet we all carry loss. How we carry or acknowledge or don’t acknowledge it varies.

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Tonight I arranged a “play” date with Lily and her cousins Chloe and Grace. The past few times we’ve been together, Lily has been tentative and stayed in the house as a spectator rather than a participant. Tonight, it took a bit, but Lily let go and gave herself permission to play, to let loose. It was fun to see her chase the girls and to allow her smile to light up, if but for a short time.

No matter what we carry, we can lay it down for a moment and be carried by light and frivolity. It plants a seed of hope that this too shall pass with healing that time gives. And letting our burdens go to delight in the moment doesn’t erase or diminish loss. It reveals the sacredness and redemption of joy.

No matter what you may be going through, or what may come, give yourself permission to play like a kid or puppy. Forgetting where we are exposes that shadows are momentary and that momentous light remains steady and strong. Search for, delight in and cast light each day.

Jul 19

3 Comments

Open and Still

“When everything is moving and shifting, the only way to counteract chaos is stillness. When things feel extraordinary, strive for ordinary. When the surface is wavy, dive deeper for quieter waters.” – Kristin Armstrong

Pause and create pockets of silence each day with rapt attention. From the sacred quiet at the rise of the day to the gentle peace offered as the sun drifts to slumber, stillness calls to restore, renew and inspire. No sense of time or tasks to check off. Present in the present. Discovering the poetry found in a walk, a smile, a flower.

Open, still and ever so grateful.

“Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.” – Barbara de Angelis

“Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.” – Barbara de Angelis

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