Aug 13
“The way we can allow ourselves to do what we need to, no matter what others may say or do, is to choose love and defy fear.” – Martha Beck
Love over fear.
Laughter and light.
Generosity and kindness.
Imperfect circumstances and people.
And still choosing to love daily.
Despite, or perhaps because of the “facts.”
Care, engage, show up.
To see and be seen.
New day, fresh canvas.
Paint.
“Every day brings new choices.” – Martha Beck
In a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) driven society and coming from a family of engineers, “be bad at math” won’t go over well on the surface. My preference is STEAM – adding art to the mix to add nuance, creativity, fluidity. Right and left brain. Heart, mind, spirit.
But the post isn’t a debate about science or art. They coexist and are not in competition. Both are important and complete the picture. Rather it’s about being bad at math in relationships. Stop counting, comparing, keeping score, weighing, predicting, assuming, calculating, estimating.
Love, kindness, generosity, listening, reaching out, hospitality, holding a hand, not giving advice, showing up, forgiveness, walking along side no matter what, being present fully (without a phone in your face). None of these can be punched out on a calculator or will be replaced by AI. And they all become more important as we stray further and further from each other opting for the next cool technology that will transform our life. Love transforms. The quality of our relationships is the quality of our life.
So go out and be bad at math and love well, without conditions. I learned this from my Mom and Dad. Happy Father’s Day Dad. I miss you and Mom every single day. Thanks for the lessons planted and woven through that remain with me to this very day. Especially the one about being bad at math in life. Cast light!
May 20
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring.
The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.
But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, a plow.
And a whisper will be heard in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.”― Yehuda Amichai
May I seek not to be right, but to soften.
To till the soil of inquiry, compassion, understanding, kindness.
Seeking what resides beneath the trampled path of indignation, judgment, assumption, othering.
A journey of belonging, inviting others to join, all are welcome.
From scarcity to abundance.
A patch of ground where flowers bloom and flourish.
May I answer, again and again, with faltering to be sure, “I have done love.”
“At the end of my life, when I say one final What have I done?, let my answer be, I have done love.”― Jennifer Pastiloff, On Being Human
May 17
“Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder. ”― Eberhard Arnold
“This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive.
Love is not possessive.
Love is not anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own ideas.
Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.
Love is not touchy.
Love does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.
Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.”― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman
Eyes of wonder.
Laughter overflowing.
Full heart.
Gratitude deep down.
Joy on the journey.
May all of these be yours this very day.
Love in thoughts, words, mostly action.
Sweet nectar.
“It is important that you say what you mean to say. Time is too short. You must speak the words that matter.”― Kate DiCamillo, The Magician’s Elephant
May 12
“Love, as we have already discussed, is a powerful, wonderful, ridiculous thing, capable of moving mountains. And spools of thread.”― Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux
Phenomenal Woman
by Maya Angelou
“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
To all of the phenomenal women.
Here and in heaven.
Nurturing, rooting, strong, brilliant, kind, a force to be reckoned with.
Love without condition.
The only real kind.
Celebrated every day, not one day a year.
Women hold up more than half the sky.
Thank you.
“Perhaps what matters when all is said and done is not who puts us down but who picks us up.”― Kate DiCamillo, Louisiana’s Way Home
May 7
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
“The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.”― Ted Hughes
Did I give with enthusiasm?
Did I find joy in the ordinary?
Did I love with an open heart?
May my answers at the end of this day to these questions be:
Yes, Yes, and Yes!
A grateful, generous, bold heart.
Daily.
Yes, please.
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”― Rumi
“How quickly we forget the miracles of our past as we step into an uncertain future, fearing we’ve used up our allotment of God’s provision and we’re all out of miracles.”― Katherine Wolf, Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and an Overcoming Love
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
Here and now.
In relationship with others, the world, self.
Ever changing, stagnant, a mix.
Allowing, inviting, accepting without condition.
Patience, patience, patience.
The recipe of growth, unfolding, becoming.
Joy, in the waiting.
Grace, in the ebb and flow.
Love, the common denominator.
Fresh miracles in bloom.
“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach—waiting for a gift from the sea.”― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
“Meaning springs from belonging.”― David Steindl-Rast
“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.”― Rumi
Get out of your head and into the world.
We can do something to change things for the better.
Our shared calling, purpose.
Simple acts.
Kindness, laughter, joy, generosity, enthusiasm, a smile, a call, a text.
Love in action daily, with intention and abandon.
That is the only way we change the world and ourselves in the process.
Love multiples, animates, expands, deepens, invites, welcomes, embraces, accompanies, listens, carries, holds, amplifies.
Go out and love others today.
A lamp, a lifeboat, a ladder.
“God’s definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love.”― Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
“The measure of love is to love without measure.”― Francis de Sales
“And in this he showed me a little thing, the quantity of a hazel nut, lying in the palm of my hand, as it seemed. And it was as round as any ball. I looked upon it with the eye of my understanding, and thought, ‘What may this be?’ And it was answered generally thus, ‘It is all that is made.’ I marveled how it might last, for I thought it might suddenly have fallen to nothing for littleness. And I was answered in my understanding: It lasts and ever shall, for God loves it. And so have all things their beginning by the love of God.
In this little thing I saw three properties. The first is that God made it. The second that God loves it. And the third, that God keeps it.”― Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love
You are loved.
Give it away.
Multiply, amplify, animate.
Pass it forward, backward, sideways, inward, outward.
Words, embraces, thoughts, kindness, laughter, generosity, joy, awe and wonder.
Put love in action today.
Game changer.
“You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves.”― Saint Francis De Sales
Mar 8
“If there is ever a magical beauty that can be watched hours with great admiration, and that is the beauty of a strong light falling from the everlasting skies into the heart of the dimness!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan
“The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
What do you see in front of you?
Where is your focus?
Where do you put your energy?
To what do you give your attention and care?
Broad, narrow, sharp, scattered.
Transactions, relationships, judgement, acceptance.
What we see, let in, put in the foreground shapes and defines our days.
Makes choosing important.
Love is always the right choice.
May you reorient, shift your focus.
Foregrounding your day in beauty, light, joy, laughter, nature, music, connection, generosity, kindness.
In a word, love.
“Love is a matter of proximity.”― M.F. Moonzajer
